Leaning In - Carrollton
I stand in a hurricane
Of sadness and heartache
That tries to take me down
But I'm leaning in
Full of questions
Surrounded by trouble
I can't explain
So I'm leaning in
If this is what it takes
To bring me closer Your side
And see You more clearly
If this is what it takes
To wake my heart and stir my soul
And love You more deeply
I won't turn away
If this is what it takes
Then I'm leaning in
I won't run from the pain
I won't run from the hurt I'm going through
'Cause I find You here in the doubt
Oh, You're with me
Deep in the worries of my heart
So I'm leaning in
You run to me in my time of need
You hear my cry in the dead of night
You weep with me and you share my grief
I'll run to you
I won't turn away
Writer(s): Justin Mosteller, Jonathan Lindley Smith, Michael Loy, Joel Rousseau, Ethan Hulse, Jordan Bailey
(C) 2017 Centricity Music
I’m kind of a deep-cut type of guy. You know, the kind of person that buys an album (still love the CD if I can find it) and then listens from start to finish, soaking in every line; scouring over all the lyrics, credits, thank you’s, and so forth (yeah I’m a nerd). There may be that hit single or two that the band has and that’s awesome. But I’m invested to hear maybe that overlooked or not-as-noticed song. And sometimes you have to get to track 7, 8, or 9 to find it.
Well it just so happens the latest album by the band Carrollton has a song that immediately struck a chord (no pun intended) when I first listened to it. Carrollton is a group I’m just starting to discover and their project Everything or Nothing is really my introduction to their music. For me, much of the album is a soundtrack for life right now and the lyrics are especially poignant and meaningful to where God has placed my family and I.
Without speaking for the authors, the song Leaning In is a track that to me reads like a Psalm. It acknowledges so many human emotions while questions of doubt mixed with sadness and a lack of understanding overwhelm the writer. It is apparent that whatever place the song is coming from, there is a definite sense of uncertainty as the “hurricane” swirls around. There is unavoidable trouble in front of him and the writer doesn’t even necessarily know why.
It is what the author chooses to do in the midst of the uncertainty that makes all the difference in my opinion. He chooses to lean into the presence of God.
I can identify with this song right now because I’m walking through things that don’t add up or make sense. Financial stuff, job uncertainty, stepping out into a new ministry, getting my footing in an unfamiliar location and putting roots down…it all comes with ups and downs. In actuality, more downs than ups and more failures than successes. And in that, there is heartache and disappointment at times.
But consider that Leaning In doesn’t just acknowledge the hurt, pain and uncertainty. Instead, in choosing to press in we find God is right there in the questions. We may not know everything or have all the answers but we experience His presence. And I’ll take His presence and closeness any day over not knowing what tomorrow holds.
Beyond the presence of God, we come to find that all we experience is being used to bring God glory and in the process, deepen our faith in Him. I love the boldness and the determination of this song because it puts a perspective upon our problems that we rarely choose to have: that life’s slings and arrows are being used by God to transform us. Difficulties bring us into reliance and complete dependence upon the Lord. We may not understand any of the reasons why things are coming at us, but they are being used to shape and mold us into a new character and creation in Christ. I love these verses from James which mirror the sentiment of Leaning In:
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4
This first installment of More Than A Song is a great place to start as we consider truths of Scripture that are set to melody. To me, the “more than a song” concept means that beyond just a cool melody or vibe, something deeper is at work. The “something deeper” is truth that needs to be proclaimed. For me, hearing it in song makes it cement in my heart, mind, and spirit more clearly. I take those words and hum them to myself throughout the days and weeks. Leaning In has become a very familiar melody in my household and I would encourage you to listen to it if you are in a place right now where doubts, questions, and uncertainties are clouding your view of Christ.
I’m looking forward to diving into more songs over the coming weeks and months. My hope is that if something resonates with me, it will resonate with you as well. I’d also love to hear the songs you are connecting with and perhaps that can further our discussion from week to week.
I leave you with a link both for Carrollton’s album version of Leaning In and a cover that I recorded a few weeks ago. Be blessed!
Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me. Psalm 138:7
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